I just saw the first two Ottawa vs. Pittsburgh games from Stockholm — and they were outstanding broadcasts.  THIS is what hockey broadcasting is supposed to be. 

Jim Hughson on play-by-play is IT — maybe the best ever, currently close to Doc Emerick in his prime and Danny Gallivan and Foster and Bill Hewitt in theirs — and he may end up ranked higher than all of them by the time he’s done.  Frankly and honestly — I think he’s the best I’ve ever heard.  I’d have to re-listen to Doc and Danny again, but he’s got the the poetic linguistic master’s mind and the verbal skills of Doc Emerick, but so much better timbre;  Danny Gallivan may have been the only comparable hockey play-by-play man with his combo of timbre, poetry, and knowledge of the sport. 

Criag Simpson is his sidekick color guy — and there’s nothing wrong with him. He’s not offensive or stupid or long-winded or anything.  And he & Jim have worked together for a long time — so as long as Hughson likes him . . . it’s like, Garcia could pick any rhythm guitarist he wanted.    and as long as Jerry liked him, and he wasn’t offensive, then he was okay with me.  It’s like Ed McMahan to Johnny.  It’s all all about Johnny — and Jerry and Jim . . .  

whoever the heck they wanna play off of, it’s their call. 

and THEN — in both intermissions they didn’t have Don the Assclown!  Of course, he hasn’t has a passport in 30 years and he’s not about to go to pansy Europe now.  So, instead, CBC hosted this incredibly intelligent conversation about hockey, and the Make Believes never even came up once!  In 5 years of watching I’ve never seen a single HNiC broadcast that didn’t talk about the Leafs no matter what two teams were playing.  But this was completely Loaf-free TV — for two whole games!  “Yes, President-elect Obama, the world has changed!”   

Just totally SMART hockey guys discussing what’s happening in the game. Jaw-droppingly retard-free.  When Ron MacLean gets away from Assclown, he really knows the sport.  And of course Kelly Hrudy is really smart. I reckon Mike Millbury is sort of the Kramer to Hrudy & Ron’s Jerry & Larry David. 

Anyway, just some awesome good news for hockey fans everywhere. 

And we went from a woman to a kid writing the Hockey National Anthem. 

Brian O’Canada

                                     The Prankster Meets The Penguin 

So, I went to the Ranger game last night at Madison Square Garden.  What a hoot!  Before the game, there was some rock band called Overtime or something playing out front on the plaza;  and there were these shooting gallery games like at the Hockey Hall of Fame where you shoot the puck at little holes around a lifesize photo of Lundqvist, and another one that measured how hard your shot was.  And there’s this giant bronze statue of some guy outside the Garden, maybe it’s Mr. Garden, i don’t know, but they had the old guy decked out in a giant Rangers jersey.  

I went in for the pre-game skate and a bunch of Ranger fans had made scorecard signs like diving judges hold up during the Olympics.  And there’s one guy walking around in complete diving gear with a snorkel and facemask and a “Crosby Diving Team” shirt.  And all behind the net that the Penguins were shooting into during warm-up was a line of people holding diving scorecards.  Of course, Crosby answered this by setting up a goal a minute into the game.  And the Rangers never really recovered.  It ended up 5-3, but it was even more lopsided than that.  

When it was over, I didn’t want to leave — as usual.  I said to my hockey brother Rob, “This is like after my last Dead show at (nearby) Giants Stadium — i didn’t want to leave the venue and we walked all around the upper hallway looking down at the emptying stands and the stage tear-down.  Just keep soaking it in.  I didn’t know at the time it would be the last show ever, but just in case it might be, I always soak in everything to the maximum.” 

So we do just that up in Blue Heaven, surveying all of MSG like a wide-angle photograph developing on the brain, burning the image onto the glossy paper of memory.    

My poor buddy’s a hardcore Ranger fan so he’s a little down seeing his team essentially eliminated, but he’s being very easy-going about it  – if only because he’s a little stunned in shock.   So, we finally leave and luckilly come out on the 8th Avenue side, and I guide our stroll around by the load-out door where there’s about 50 fans waiting to get autographs or just to cheer the players as they leave.  As soon as we get there, Mario Lemieux comes out in a car with his wife, and I’m thinking, “This is sort of interesting.”    

There’s just tons of bright-faced young hockey fans — like this one kid, it was his 15th birthday, and he’s there with his dad and wearing one of the old style teal Pittsburgh jerseys like they wore for The Winter Classic outdoor game this year.  These kids, these fans, all know what the players look like without their helmets on, and they’re shouting out their names as they see them walking out in their suits to get on the bus that’s parked in the runway.  Some different Penguins come walking down the ramp and go right past us.  A couple of them stop and sign autographs.  

And all of a sudden, there’s big Hal Gill!  So i go over to him — he was kinda lost — like he was walking past the bus along the sidewalk, and had to stop and turn around, and I’m, “Hey Hal!  Good to see ya!  And good luck, eh?!  Hey, I’m from Toronto!”  And this makes him break into a big smile, “Great!” And I’m, “I’m so glad you get to be with this team now.  It’s the only way a Leaf will ever win the Cup!” and he laughs, and says thanks, shakes hands and heads for the bus.  

Then a few people start yelling, “Hey Jarku!” as Ruuto walks up — another guy I wouldn’t know from Adam — Ind i suddenly remember I have all these hockey cards in my bag, and pull out my Ruutu card and run over just as he’s about to get away and the 15 year old kid gives me his Sharpie and Ruutu signs the card.   

Then a couple others come along in their fresh n snappy suits, and then — there’s one guy I actually recognize!  Jordan Staal!  It’s just cuz he’s always on TV, and is really tall and skinny and has that sorta blondish hair and he’s just walking right out past all the fans and out to the street.  I run up to him cuz he’s really one of my favorite players — hockey’s new royal family and all — and i start walking along beside him going, “No way!  Jordan!  Way to go man!” and I’m slapping him on the back of his brown leather jacket and he’s not wanting to break his stare from straight ahead, almost like a guard at Buckingham Palace who’s supposed to not turn his head.  Not to mention him thinking, “Who is this crazy Rangers fan?  And am I about to be attacked?”  But I’m just making such a big fuss over him he’s goin’ with it, and I look up at his face that’s about as far away as the top of the Empire State Building, and I can see he’s got this huge beam on and is laughing — and I’m just sorta running along beside him since he’s walking very fast and determined, and I’m about 5 jumbo beers into it and I just kept slappin’ him on the back and raving on about how great the team is and how I’m rooting for them and he’s just laughing away at my enthusiasm and stick-to-it-ness.  

So, he’s walking the same direction as Hal and Ruutu were, and I realize their bus is parked out on the street, and so I watch as he and the other guys climb up the stairs and disappear into their dark cave.  It wasn’t a regular big charter tour type bus, but a mini-bus, like you see shuffling people around at airports.  

All of a sudden, I dunno, but . . . suddenly there was no security type person standing at their bus door, and I thought, “Ah-ha.”  

So I walk out nonchalantly into the road as though I’m just going to cross the street, and I see the bus door is open!  And I go, “No way!”  

So, I turn, and just Boom – I run up the stairs and onto their bus!  

There was a driver in the driver’s seat, and he didn’t say anything.  It was really dark in there so it was hard to see exactly, but nearly every seat was taken — like they were just about ready to take off.  So I stand up at the front like a tour guide holding onto the silver pole, and I just start in on this riff, super excited, quite skiddlie, but i just started goin’, “Hey you guys!  I just wanted to tell ya you’re just great!  And thank you for what you’re doing for hockey all over the world.  This is just the best thing.  The way you’re doing it, inspiring the kids, and hockey fans all over, it’s just fantastic and i just wanted to make sure you guys knew it and how much it’s appreciated, and you guys are doing the right thing and doing it the right way!”      

It’s really dark, and I don’t know most of the player’s faces, but I can see Jordan Staal, he’s on the aisle about 2 rows from the back, and maybe he had an overhead light on or something, but I could see his tall head and he’s just got this huge teeth-beaming smile on — a fellow twinkling prankster for sure.  As a performer, you often pick out one person in the audience and deliver the show to them.  Zone in — and if you’re totally connected to that person, have them hanging on your every word, you don’t lose your train, and everybody else can ride along.  So I’m sorta delivering this whole spontaneous monolog to Staal.  

And it was so weird, cuz you sorta picture a hockey team’s bus as i dunno, rowdy, partying, everybody talking at once — sort of a Slap Shot scene.  But everybody was in very proper suits sitting quiet and back-straight in their seats like a troop of uniformed soldiers or something.  But the General was on the bus!   

And he was right in front of me!  The very first seat beside the stairs is Coach Therrien, and he’s laughing away, I couldn’t believe it!  But I knew I had the room if he was laughing.  :-)  But I didn’t wanna look too closely in case he signaled for me to leave.  And it’s so great that in this 9/11 world they weren’t too freaked-out by this strange guy jumping into their midst.  Neither the coach nor the players nor any staff ever made a move to stop me, and here I was given this spontaneous, unsolicited pep-talk to the entire frickin’ Penguins team!  

I’m looking right into the faces of the guys in the first couple of rows but I couldn’t positively identify any of them — those damn helmet disguises they wear!  I think the rookie type guys have to sit in the front — none of the first few rows were Laraque or Talbot or Malkin or Malone or any of those super recognizable faces.  

I had the presence of mind to realize that they weren’t kicking me off, and that I actually had the entire team’s rapt attention, and the coach is sorta rocking back and forth in his seat he’s laughing so much.  It was like open mike night, and the host had just nodded that you can do another song!  :-)  So I did.  

I went into something like, “I’m from Canada,” (I wanted them to know I’m an authentic old-school purist hockey person, not just some demented drunk New Yorker)  So I told them, “I just drove all the way down here to see you play tonight, and I just want you to know that everybody up there is rootin’ for you guys.  And what you’re doing is just great!  And just keep goin’!  The whole hockey world is rooting for you guys.  Believe me.”  And I gave ‘em a nod & a stare with a good long pause.  

I remember thinking that I didn’t wanna say anything to jinx it — like talk about The Cup or anything beyond this series.  So I just said again, “What you’re doing is just great!  Keep doin’ what you’re doin’!”   I couldn’t believe I was there — and I was sort of running out of material and didn’t want to overstay my bizarre welcome, so I just gave them a happy final wave in farewell and scampered down the stairs as fast as I climbed them.  The whole time I was just beaming with joy, and I’m sure that’s what allowed me to be there unchallenged.  

So, . . . that was the night I ran onto the Penguins’ bus in the middle of the playoffs and gave them a pep talk.  

you can also hear my crazy live morning-after riff (the April 30th episode) at

 http://thatradio.podhoster.com/index.php?sid=1399

Brian

BrianHassett.com

karmacoupon@gmail.com  

Most goals in the league (65) — winner of the Rocket Richard Trophy.

Most goals in a season by a Left-Winger in NHL history — 65.

The first player in 12 years to score over 60 goals.

He led his team from dead-last / 15th place in his conference on Dec. 30th to 3rd place by season’s end. The first team in NHL history to be in last place at the midway point of the season to then win their Division — just 3 months from the deepest hole to the top of the heap.

Led the NHL in points in the last month of the season — the final playoff push for all teams & players — with 31 points; and had 10 multi-point games in his final 16.

Led the NHL in power-play goals (22).

Led the NHL in even-strength goals (41).

Led the NHL in game-winning goals (11).

Led the NHL in lead-changing goals (30).

Led the NHL in multi-goal games (13).

Led the NHL in 4-goal games (2).

Led the NHL in “late-game pressure goals” with 29 (defined by the league as overtime or third period goals when the score differential is 2 or less goals).  And naturally led the league in late-game pressure points with 44.

Led the league in game-winning goals in the third period (5).

Led the league in third period goals overall (26).

Also led the league in opening period goals (17).

Led the league in shots (441) and shots-per-game (5.3). This is the second most shots ever taken by a player in the history of the NHL. Only Phil Esposito had more — once. (Since coming into the league, he has more 10-or-more shots in a game (18) than the next 4 players combined.)

As Dr. Phil put it recently: “Alex is going to get over 550 shots in a season, and when he does he’s going to score 85 or 90 goals. They say Gretzky’s [goal] record is not going to be broken. Well, when I got 76, they said ‘Nobody will ever get 77.’ Records are made to be broken. And Ovie shoots enough that he’s going to do that. And I don’t think I’ve ever seen a guy as physical as he is that scores like he does. He’s playing smarter now, and he’s just getting better and better and better.”

And he’s 22 years old.

And over his first 3 seasons he’s only missed a single game.

(How do you say, “Yikes!” in Russian?)

And along with all of the above, out of the 955 players in the league this season …

only 10 threw more bodychecks than he did;

only 8 had more takeaways from other players;

only 5 had a better plus/minus! (and this on a team that was dead-last for half the season);

and only 1 had more hat-tricks.

and did i mention he’s only 22?

= = = = = = = = =

Brian at karmacoupon@gmail.com

BrianHassett.com

And in the West: Detroit, San Jose, Minnesota, and hopefully the Dullass Steers knock out the Brutuzzi Phucks (the 3rd fewest goals scored in the league, and they’re proudly #1 in getting penalties — again).

Every one of the goalie match-ups this year is to die for! We’re in a golden era of master ‘tenders, no doubt about it.

Carey Price vs. Tim Thomas. The Habs will keep their 8-out-of-8 season streak going against Boston — not to mention that it’s actually 12 straight going back thru last season, or their 23-and-7 series record overall. This is future Hall-of-Famer Carey Price’s magic run spring — a la Cam Ward in ‘06 and Kenny the Giraffe in ‘71. And all the games are on CBC.

Marc-Andre Fleury vs. Martin Gerber. A Pittsburgh-Ottawa opening-round rematch from last season, with the opposite result this time. (ie; Pens in 4 or 5) Fleury should be great, but most importantly this is Crosby’s year to prove it. And now he’s got a smokin’ Malkin and a happy Hossa ridin’ shotgun. Plus someone named Gary Roberts is back in the line-up; just in time for his time of year. And in the Blessings From Above Dept.: Jim Hughson will be calling the Pittsburgh series on CBC! He’s the best there is. And again every game’s on CBC (’cause a Canadian team’s involved).

Chistobal Huet vs. Martin Biron. Washington — Philly. SOOOO glad Pittsburgh are NOT playing The Philly Goon Squad — and for the good of the sport and the health of all athletes, I hope the Throwaway Newspaper Supplements are eliminated in 4 by the super-on, high flying, hard hitting Capitals. Christobal Huet is in the zone, and they’re 11-and-2 since he joined, with a 1.63 GAA and .936 sv%. Marty Biron is in slo-mo at 2.59 and .918.  Thank Gawd — all games are on TSN! and a couple doubled up on NBC as well. For a separate story on Ovechkin’s records, see: http://brianhassett.com/2008/04/09/ovechkins-1s-this-season/

King Henri Lundqvist vs. Marty Brodeur. The New Jersey Satans managed only one shoot-out win in 8 games against the Rangers this year, so the Blueshirts have got Dr. Evil’s number, and I expect that the ugly-uniformed franchise will quickly slurp back into the swamp from which they came in short order. All games (except #2) are on TSN.

Dominik Hasek vs. Dan Ellis. Red Wings v Predators. As lovely a story as the forever-underdog Nashville Vegetarians is, they won’t be pulling any upset over the best team in hockey. Over 82 games the Red Wings are once again the President’s Trophy winners, and have let in the fewest goals, scored the 3rd most, have the 4th top point-getter in the league, and a coaching and management culture second only to Montreal. Plus, they have the best goalie tandem in a long time — their 2 netminders finished #1 and #4 in GAA in the league — and when was the last time one team had both the best and the 4th best in the league?! Only the weekend afternoon games 2 and 6 will be broadcast in Canada, on NBC. Game 3 is on TSN, and that’s it (so far).

Evegni Nabokov vs. Mikka Kiprusoff. San Jose vs. Calgary. What a showdown! The Sharks are firing on all cylinders and positions — see: Thornton, Campbell and Nabokov. They’re 20-and-2 in their last 22, and this is their year for The Finals. But meanwhile, here’s Calgary, with the best player playing in Canada in Jerome Iginla, and the country’s only Western team representing, with a killer Kiper goalie and an experienced playoff coach. The problem is, they’ll overplay their “toughness” — they have the most fighting majors in the majors, which is appealing to some and repulsive to others, and have taken the 2nd most penalties overall (whereas San Jose is the 2nd least penalized team). They could easily end up losing this with a man in the box to one of the best PPs in the league (who also happen to be numero uno on the PK!) No matter what, this should be a doozy of a series, but will go to the Sharks even if it has to go to 7. All games on CBC.

Niklas Backstrom vs. Jose Theodore. Minnesota – Colorado is the other exciting series in the West — evenly matched, both smartly coached, highly skilled, non-goon hockey. Even though I’m a jersey-owning Wild fan, how can you not love Team Sakic? With Ryan Smith, Peter Forsberg, Paul Stastny, Adam Foote and a revitalized Jose Theodore. For hockey’s sake, it would be great if this went 7 games — and it’s too bad one of the two has to be eliminated. At least 5 games on TSN: 1, 2, 4, 5, & 7.

In The Also-Rans Dept. — like Hawkman, I’m certainly hoping the classy and classic Blackhawks make it in next year. And also John Davidson’s team, the home of the blues, St. Louis. In the East, it’s great that Tampa just won the Stamkos Sweepstakes. The franchise were founded by Espo, and were the first offense-first team in a decade in the NHL when they won their Cup. Another superstar to play with Lecavelier & St. Louis is a real good thing.

Hopefully the wonderfully skilled, clean playing, and buoyantly enthusiastic Russians will eliminate some of the ethically-challenged teams and players in the first round.

I know it’s as blindly optimistic as hoping for politics to be played clean, but I live in hope that these playoffs are. May this be an injury-free playoffs for all players.

You may say that I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one.

Puck on, hosers!

(And feel free to leave your predictions and observations behind.)

A funny thing:  in the East, the only close series is the 1-8 match-up.  Get this: 

This year, Montreal beat Boston 8 out of 8 times. 

The Rangers beat the Devils 7 out of 7 times.  And

Washington beat Ottawa 4 out of 4 times.  

That’s gotta have never happened before.  8 out of 8’s are very rare, let alone to have them be match-ups in the playoffs — usually teams who lose 8 out of 8 to anyone don’t make the post-season.  And to have it be a clean sweep in 3 series is pretty unusual. 

And then to add to the wierdness, the only series that was close is the 1st place vs. the last place team.  But even they came in consistent blocks:  Philly beat Pittsburgh in the first 4 games, then Pittsburgh came back and won the most recent four. 

 Out West, the Minnesota Wild won their division for the first time in their franchise history.  And of course, San Jose only losing ONE of their last 21 games!  And classy Detroit once again proudly leading the league. 

And how bout this — that the top 3 point getters this season as all Russian!  Ovechkin, Malkin, and Datsyuk.  And didja know, Datsyuk, in 3rd overall, played in all 82 games for the Red Wings, and got a total of 20 min. in penalties all season!  He has to win the Lady Byng. 

And speaking of trophies, at least a couple are pretty obvious:  Hart MYP to Ovechkin (and bet ya he gets the Pearson too), and Jack Adams Best Coach to Bruce Boudreau at the Caps.  Since he took over Nov 23rd, Washington has gotten the most points of any team in the NHL, except beaten by only 1 point each, by Pittsburgh, Detroit and San Jose. 

And I know there’s no trophy for best GM, but the Caps George McPhee brought in Chritobal Huet, Sergi Federov, and Matt Cook at the trade deadline, who were all actually the 1st, 2nd and 3rd stars in a recent game. 

And how their team went from dead last (15th place) in November to 3rd place — that’s got to be the single biggest jump in position since its been a 30 team league — maybe ever since expansion. 

I guess if the recent manditory rule of one Canadian team vs. one U.S. team for The Cup continues, we’ll be enjoying a Montreal – San Jose final.  Carey Price trying to pull a Dryden / Roy rookie season Canadiens goalie coup, or Coupe as they say in Quebec. 

Feel free to leave your evaluations, observations, predictions or Weird True Facts here. 

And may the best teams win!  

Puck on! 

Hopes?  juicy rumors?  intuitive predictions?  breaking news? 

This is the chock board. 

Commodore & Stillman already to Ottawa, eh?   

And how great the Rangers sealed up King Henri!  Nice heir to King Mike. 

In ten days, who’s going to be even better than they are now? 

that was the most fun i’ve had at a game, well other than the Sabres-Sens playoff, in about … whenever my last Rangers game was!     i mean, seriously, it restored my faith in hockey. 

hey and get this — i’ve now dated my Rangers fanship to at least 1969/70!  cuz by 1970-71 Eddie was wearing the mask, and when i became a fan, he never wore one.  that’s WHY he was the coolest player in the league.  So that had to be at least ‘69/70!  and how amazing that every other element of my life is somehow rooted in the sixties! 

it started with the mask.  there’s was something in the back of my head, i’d seen a picture from 70/71 wearing the mask.  then just looked it up:  confirmed in 2 sources it was 70/71.  and i’d been a fan for a while before he did that.  so it could very well date to 68/69.  but wow, man!  i cracked the sixties for absolutely sure!  i never saw him be anything BUT maskless.  when he finally put one on — i couldn’t understand it and hated it, but was still Eddie.  without all the equipment of today, a goalie was much more recognizable.  i used to watch him on HNiC and replicate his saves over and over, and that’s where i got my goaltending from.   All my life i’ve tried to be Eddie Giacomin.   And that’s not a bad thing.  And man –  i don’t want to sit anywhere but the upper-deck 400s again!  That is my home, as much as the front rows of a Grateful Dead show used to be.  I felt more at home in New York in those seats than anywhere else i was in NYC.  It’s almost like the last spot in the city that hasn’t gotten phucked yet.   “it’s a sit-down comedy show”   my favorite line from the whole trip was, “Hey Crosby, si’down!”   

It was just the comic New York tone it was delivered in.  it’s the intangible you can’t quantify.  just a natural civic gift.  the whole Garden used to be that way — and for sure, i haven’t felt that in YEARS!  because i’ve never sat in the 400s before.  but i know that everything below it and in the boxes ain’t the same.  That one night there was how I always remember the Rangers being — everything the Rangers are to me.  educated but funny fans.  the perfect pitch of a precise tone. 

Because New Yorkers have So much else going on in their lives, they can be as passionate about this as they are about a hundred other things.  Yhey can be super smart, super into it, and not Really care cuz their lives are so filled with so much else that is amazing and overwhelming. 

they’re as passionate as other fans, but they’re so much deeper.  

 and then this — the sense of humor

Canadians per capita are way funnier than Americans. 

Then you add in — “the sit-down comedy show” of “the blues” in MSG, and all the funny and twisted American fans I know.Okay.  So maybe it’s not Canada that makes us funny – it’s hockey.   hockey makes people funny. or

hockey attracts funny people.

  where i grew up in Winnipeg could we lost Every Year to Gretzky or Calgary, so what the puck?!  how can you not just love and laugh?  plus, we were pretty comical and goofy to begin with. so that’s where this comes from. just as Giacomin led me to goaltending, the Winnipeg hockey attitude led me to not taking the results too seriously.   maybe that’s why NYC worked so well for me.  passion with humor.   and that brings us back to the 400 section.   and how everything outside of the Garden has been destroyed except for ONE old Rangers bar.  and how the Garden as I knew it was largely now.   but here was this place.  this one place.   for decades I’ve called them, “sacred places,” and have been searching them out, from abandoned mansions to cliff ridges to caves to roof tops to waterfalls to concert pits . . . and “the blues” are like the last blocks of the Lower East Side below Houston that aren’t phucked yet.  the last little island.  except it’s a ring around a rink.   I wanna be in that top circle again.  that rooftop of hockey. it’s so funny.  isn’t that what Jesus and every other channel said.  what the top circle really is.  it ain’t money.  it’s the spiritual source.   and it humor and passion are tickets.   which makes that section of MSG during Ranger games one of the sacred places on earth.   and that I’m serious about. 

= = = = = = = = =

by Brian Hassett,

www.brianhassett.com

karmacoupon@gmail.com