Here are the easily printable one-sheet roster line-ups for the different teams, with all players in their positions, on lines, with their Olympic jersey numbers, ages, current teams, etc. . . .

The docs are in Word, and for printing just make sure it’s set to “landscape” — it should come out on one sideways page.  
And just print “Current page,”  and not “All” unless you want a blank extra. 

CANADA —   Team-Canada-2010  

RUSSIA —      Team-Russia-2010       

SWEDEN — Team-Sweden-2010

USA  —    Team-USA-2010    

FINLAND  —  Team-Finland-2010      

CZECHS  —   Team-Czechs-2010            

SLOVAKIA  —    Team-Slovakia-2010        

Updated as new information emerges. 

by Brian at
BrianHassett.com
karmacoupon@gmail.com

Canadian Kindness:  When in public Celebrations — remember, we’re hosting.  People rooting for other nations are our guests and Olympic friends.  It’s just a game.  They’re just you and me, from somewhere else.  Celebrate them for showing pride in a foreign land, and make everyone love this place as much as we do.   

I’m back doing Olympic Hockey Reports on ThatChannel.com.  Here’s with hosts Hugh Reilly & Nikki Hayes doing The Final Olympic Debriefing  discussing the overwhelming effect they had on Canada.  (open another window to keep reading this site) 

Or here’s Jan. 29th   — Brian-Hugh-Nikki  — discussing the final cauldron lighting;  Canada’s consortium of coaches;  the Russians vs Canada;  great players vs team sports;  the Magic of the Midnight Games;  the emotion of Canada winning;  the David & Goliath epic being written;  and the opening game vs. Norway at the Cineplexes. 

And as we should always play the national anthem first, here’s Maritime rapper Class with his new Canadian anthem for your listening and/or viewing pleasure as you discover the Gold in these thar Olympics.  

I also highly recommend all Canadians watch the amazingly revealing documentary “On Home Ice” that was filmed over the last year showing how the team was put together.  It’s kind-of a must-see if you want to understand this team.  And thank gawd somebody put it on YouTube!  

The Flow Below

Preliminary Round Gameplans . . .  

(feel free to replicate in a town near you) 

game 1 — Tuesday Feb 16th — 7:30PM — Canada vs Norway — this is the 10-0 game where we come together as a team and have a gelling & excelling scrimmage.  I expect Roberto Luongo in net for his evaluation game against this weakest of opponents.  Location: the Cineplex (the Scotiabank one Richmond St.). Yes, the movie theater.  I’ve never seen a live game in one.  Could you imagine a 100 foot Hi-Def screen with the best surround-sound in existence and hundreds of screaming new best friends?  It’s not weather dependent cuz it’s indoors, and t’s the first game, so it won’t have caught on yet as the thing to do.  And we let the outdoor scenes have a chance to gel and work out the bugs and spread word-of-mouth and gather mass momentum.

Oakville/Burlington:  SilverCity on Wyecroft at Burloak 
Winnipeg:  SilverCity at Polo Park 
All participating theaters in Canada here.

game 2 — Thursday Feb 18th — 7:30 — Canada vs Switzerland — despite our pathetic Wayne Bertuzzi team last Olympics getting shut-out by the Swiss, this should  be 5–1 or better, or we’re gonna have trouble again.  I expect Brodeur to be in net for Canada in his warm-up try-out game — vs Anaheim’s current monster Jonas Hiller for the Swiss, an excellent foil who’s on a hot streak.  And we need to be able to beat good goalies.  Since it’ll be a fast-played, exciting game, this is the time to be cheering & high-fiving in a Sea of Red at Nathan Phillips and/or Dundas Sq (weather permitting). We’ll find out which has the better screen and scene. It’s a 10-minute walk between and there’s 15 minute intermissions — I’m anticipating the first period at one party, the 2nd at the other, and the third at the best one.

game 3 — Sunday Feb 21st — 7:40 — Canada vs USA — The Home Game — the 2002 Gold Medal Rematch!  This is the one to watch at home or a friend’s house, a la Super Bowl Sunday — there’s a fantastic warm-up game in the afternoon with Russia vs the Czechs from 3:00–5:30 — have a nice afternoon of it, making good use of the kitchen — followed by a 2-hour dinner n drinks break, and then the game that determines who finishes First in our Group, getting a bye directly into the Quarterfinals — and which team has to play an exhausting extra game the night before. The team that wins Gold will likely have gone 6-0 in the tournament. Only 3 teams will win this Sunday Final.  And don’t forget — the big Midnight Game —  Sweden vs Finland!  The second recent Gold Medal rematch of the night! 

After these 3 games, I/we/you will have experienced it 3 different ways, and can decide how to do the “game 7″ elimination games, beginning with the Quarter-Final game on Wed Feb 24th, at 7:30 (Eastern).  
I anticipate some serious Hi-Def action at Nathan Phillips. Including and especially the pre-Gold Medal games. Stay tuned for details.
Semi-final game:  Friday Night, 9:30 PM (Eastern), Feb. 26th 
Gold Medal game:  Sunday Afternoon, 3:15 PM  (Eastern), Feb 28th

These are the Final All-Player Olympics

Although they won’t officially say it until eons from now in the middle of some summer when no one’s paying attention, the  NHL is not going to participate in the next Olympics.  Their 4-Olympic association did not produce the desired results of generating massive interest in hockey (in the, um, U.S. they mean).  The next in Russia will have all games played in the middle of the night in North America, and the NHL and the KHL don’t get along, and nobody but Russians will be paying a smidgeon of attention, and the best players on every NHL team won’t have to get completely distracted and have their internal clocks thrown off and risk injury and keep everybody else on salary for two weeks doin’ nuthin’ for some nobody’s-watching tournament in a remote port on the other side of the planet.  Which, nobody mentions, is located about 5 minutes from Syria, Iraq, Iran & a whole rubble’a trouble.  Nobody’s gonna wanna go anywhere near this thing.  

So, the all-player Olympics will end with this 4th tournament.  
So far it’s:  Sweden 1, Canada 1, Czechs 1.
So, rightfully and fairly, it’s Russia’s turn.  But . . . 

It’s a Clean Slate

People always compare one Olympics to another, as though they’re games in a continuing series. They’re 4 years apart.
What happened before has nothing to do with what will happen this time.
That’s the first thing to internalize.
It’s a clean slate.

Make Hockey Not War

I see hockey as more art than war.   I don’t view anyone in this tourney as the enemy, but rather amazingly skilled players joining the all-star jam.  I know competition is required for the artform to be created, but when it’s players this good I couldn’t care less what color their jersey is.  

This Olympic Chapter

With the Russian’s so dominant right now, it makes for such a great story to have the underdog country win Gold at home.  Plus, Russia’s gonna SO win it next Olympics at home.  

This is the classic match-up where the team with the will, passion, desire and need will be the one that triumphs.  It’s the Moose Jaw Davids against the Moscow Goliaths.    

These Olympics will surpass any single assemblage of hockey players in history.  There’s never been anything with this many Masters in their prime in the modern uber-skill era.  And it’s SO set up for this great underdog home team victory story!   ‘72 in the 21st Century.  And to top off the weirdness and drama  …

Historic Hockey  — these four teams’ one-time-only combinations — and for the last time from the NHL — 88 of the greatest hockey players alive are on those Final Four teams — this will be an all-star jam for the ages!

Do not Self-inflict Blindness by Oneteamism — it doesn’t matter where you’re from — do not miss watching and appreciating all the other Top Teams.  Every one of them is jaw-droppingly great.  

And watch for  —  a direct correlation between the total number of team penalty minutes and the final standings.  The Gold Medal team will have gone 6-0 for the tournament, and will have the lowest number of penalty minutes;  the 4th place team will have the most PMs, and so on. 

The Gold Medal will be Decided over Lunch

The biggest game in every one of these players’ lives — the game that determines Hockey Supremacy for the next 4 and likely more years — The Gold Medal Game — is being played at puckin lunchtime, High Noon local time — seven hours off all the players’ cycle and schedule. It’s because the Closing Ceremonies are scheduled for dinnertime that night, and this is the climactic Medal of the Tournament — but still. This factor, more than any other, affects the game. It’s like a football game in snow: Who responds to the adverse conditions better?

But the good, weird & wild thing is — every period will be different. In these “morning” games, the team that’s alert and awake in the first period is often not the team that’s “on” in the third.

Overview of 2010 Teams

Although the tournament groups are divided differently, there are essentially four groups of three countries each.  

There’s the “Thanks for coming” countries —
Belarus
Norway
Latvia

There’s the “Could pull off an upset” countries — 
Slovakia
Switzerland
Germany

There’s the “Could Medal with a hot goalie” countries —
USA
Finland
Czechs

and then there’s “The Three Giants” —

Canada
Russia
Sweden

Either Canada or Russia will win Gold, that’s for sure.  If another team makes it to the final, they won’t beat the team in red.  

The two semi-final games on Friday (Feb 26th) may very well decide which red team it is.  The best thing for Canada will be if Russia plays Sweden, and Sweden wins.  Only one of the semi-final teams gets a “bye” and doesn’t have to play a fellow Top-3 Team.

And the way who-faces-who happens is  —>

The “3-Point System” to Determine Standings

This is KEY to Canada winning Gold.  They MUST finish First and not be in the 2-vs-3 semi-final game. Not only because risking elimination, but the team that wins that game will be bagged for the final.  

The U.S. also needs to finish in the top 4 (or above), or 5th at worst, to get to play the 4th place team and upset them.  If the U.S. finishes worse than 5th in the Preliminary, they’ll likely be eliminated in the the first quarterfinal game against any of the Big Three.  

The 3-game “Preliminary Round” — which determines the rankings for the rest of the tournament — will use the 3 point system — much debated since the NHL’s implementation of the shoot-out and elimination of ties.

3 points – for winning the game in 60 min.
2 points – for winning in OT or a Shoot-Out
1 point – for being tied at end of regulation, but losing later
0 points – for losing in regulation
. . . (seems fairly fair n logical to me.)

Overtime

ALL overtime is played 4-on-4.
Preliminary round — 5 minutes of OT, then shoot-out (3 players, then tie breakers)
All following games, including Bronze Medal — 10 minutes, then shoot-out
Gold Medal game — 20 minutes OT, then shoot-out

Shoot-out Panic Reduction:

Do note: No Olympic men’s hockey game has gone to a shoot-out since Gretzky didn’t skate against Hasek in 1998. And before that, there’d only been 3 all-time. They’re pretty rare. And there’s no way the Gold Medal game will feature two teams who both can’t score a single goal in 20 min. of 4-on-4.

The TV Broadcasts

In Canada: Great News: CTV / TSN have teamed up with Rogers Sportsnet to use all of their collective networks to broadcast the Olympics — meaning all hockey games will be broadcast live and uninterrupted.  You can check the specific TV listings here.  
Additional Major Bonus: Don Cherry’s voice will not be heard anywhere — and the Real Hockey Anthem will be played everywhere!
Play-by-play — Chris Cuthbert, Gord Miller and Peter Loubardias (some guy from Saskatoon who calls the Flames games on Sportsnet).

And we’re gonna be blessed with Buddha Bob McKenzie — the Howie Meeker of our time.
And now . . . let us bow and pray . . . “Lord, may Pierre McGuire takes his meds on time, lays off the coffee, and have his mike turned down.”  Sadly, Ray Ferraro is the very weak link in the color dept. 

In the U.S.:  NBC will do their masterful job again, utilizing USA Network, MSNBC and CNBC so all major games are covered uninterrupted. Make sure you know where those networks are on your cable — and that you have them — or you’re going to miss a lot of it.  NBC has an excellent website with TV listings searchable by day and / or by sport.  
More Good News Dept.: The Master, Doc Emrick, is doing the play-by-play for the U.S. games.  And Jeremy Roenick will be on hand — hopefully some color in the Doctor’s office.  But it may be his now-regular sidekick Eddie Olczyk, who’s pretty insightful.  Played 16 seasons for a lot of major teams, and was Crosby’s first coach in the NHL. 

Great news — all games are televised live in both countries.

Here’s the Preliminary Round schedule with times and networks:
(All times Eastern — and all games are the same time every day:
3PM, 7:30PM, and midnight.)

Tuesday Feb 16th

USA vs Switzerland — 3PM — TSN / USA
Canada vs Norway — 7:30PM — CTV / CNBC
Russia vs Latvia — midnight — CTV / CNBC

Wednesday Feb 17th

Finland vs Belarus — 3PM — TSN / MSNBC
Sweden vs Germany — 7:30PM — TSN / CNBC
Czechs vs Slovakia — midnight — SNET / CNBC

Thursday Feb 18th

USA vs Norway — 3PM — SNET / USA
Canada vs Switzerland — 7:30PM — CTV / CNBC
Russia vs Slovakia — midnight — TSN / CNBC

Friday Feb 19th

Sweden vs Belarus — 3PM — SNET / MSNBC
Czechs vs Latvia — 7:30PM — SNET / CNBC
Finland vs Germany — midnight — CTV / MSNBC

Saturday Feb 20th

Switzerland vs Norway — 3PM — SNET / MSNBC
Slovakia vs Latvia  — 7:30PM — SNET / MSNBC
Germany vs Belarus — midnight — TSN / MSNBC

Sunday Feb 21st — The Big Day

Russia vs Czechs — 3PM — TSN / NBC
Canada vs USA — 7:40PM — CTV / MSNBC
Sweden vs Finland — midnight — CTV / MSNBC

The Midnight Games 

For those in the Central or Eastern who can experience hockey at the witching hour, The Midnight Games are going to be as good or better than the Canada games.  The first night it’s the Russians playing the Unified Latvians.  Could be even more of a skills display than Canada–Norway.  The second night it’s the Russians vs. the Slovaks, which are an amazing team with Gaborick, the Hossas, and Chara, for starters.  And THEN on the Final Sunday — it’s the Finns vs the Swedes — 2 of the Top 4 teams will decide who gets the bye and who has to play an extra elimination match.  The Midnight Games are going to be some of the best hockey of the Preliminary Round.

The Crazy-But-True Dept.:

If you want to see NHL participation in the next Olympics, you better hope it’s a Canada vs USA Gold Medal game, and that the U.S. wins.
Failing that, this’ll be the last NHL Olympics until at least 2018 — the location of which won’t even be announced until 2011.  There will have been 4 all-player Olympics. The next possible one will come when you’re nearly a decade older.  

The Russians

It’s going to be such a Gift to watch this team play.  Their offensive unit is probably the best ever assembled in the history of the sport.
It’s funny how some think that because they have players from the KHL that they’re not as good as NHLrs. Them folks gettin’ a big surprise comin!   
The question is:  Can Canada beat them in one game?  at home?  a la Miracle on Ice? What is in the script?
If it was a 7 game series, the Russians may well take it in 5. But Canada can beat them once, when they have to. As long as they’ve got the goaltending. And they’re gonna have to score 4 or more goals — cuz there’s no way the Russians aren’t scoring 3 or more every game.  These ain’t gonna be no 2–1 games.  

No matter which team wins, we’re going to have been witness to an historic and lifelong memorable display of the best hockey ever played.

Rule Changes

There’s a great page that lists all the IIHF rule changes vs. the NHL
http://www.iihf.com/channels10/olympics-2010/home/men/rules.html

I read the whole thing of course, and there’s a few small differences …
— automatic icing  — thank gawd!  Whose career-ending injury is it gonna take for the NHL to adopt this?
— no trapezoid, so the goalie can play the puck anywhere
— intermission is 15 min., not 17 min. like NHL
— visors required for everyone born after ‘74

But there’s some major ones, too —
Fighting,
Checks to the head, and
Checks from behind.

In the Olympics:
— Fighting means 5 min. major, plus ejection from game
— Check to the Head (aka a Pronger elbow), or a Check from Behind:
The IIHF officially and clearly states: “There’s no such thing as a clean hit to the head.” So it’s always a penalty.
if it’s not serious — 2 min penalty, plus 10 min. misconduct
if it’s at all serious — 5 min major, and ejection from game
Plus potential additional Match Penalty (player out for the next came as well, without substitution). This is my Pronger (and Mike Richards) concern, and why I’m glad Phaneuf’s not on the team.

Breakdown of Olympians by NHL team:

Anaheim (9) — Scott Niedermayer, Ryan Getzlaf & Corey Perry on Canada; Teemu Selanne & Saku Koivu for Finland; Bobby Ryan & Ryan Whitney for USA;  Luca Sbisa & Jonas Hiller (goalie) for Switzerland. 

Detroit (8) — Lidstrom, Kronwall, Zetterberg & Franzen on Sweden; Pavel Datsyuk (Russia); Filppula (Finland); Brian Rafalski (USA);  Ole-Kristen Tollefen (Norway), not to mention Team Canada’s GM Yzerman, asst. GM Holland, Coach Babcock, and former employee and friend Scotty Bowman as unofficial consultant.  

San Jose (8) — Heatley–Thornton–Marleau, & Dan Boyle for Canada;  Evgeni Nabokov (goalie Russia); Joe Pavelski (USA); Douglas Murray (Sweden); Thomas Griess (goalie Germany)

Vancouver (7) — the Sedin twins on Sweden; Roberto Luongo (goalie Canada); Ryan Kesler (USA);  Sami Salo (Finland); Pavol Demitra (Slovaks); Christian Ehroff (goalie Germany)

Chicago (6) — Keith, Seabrook & Toews on Canada; Patrick Kane (USA); Marian Hossa & Tomas Kopecky (Slovaks)

Boston (6) — Patrice Bergeron (Canada, & Crosby linemate);  Tim Thomas (35 yr old goalie USA);   Zdeno Chara (Slovakia); Marco Sturm (Germany); David Krejci (Czech); Miro Satan (Slovakia)

Columbus (6) — Rick Nash, and asst. coach Ken Hitchcock for Canada; Sami Pahlsson & Fredrik Modin (Sweden); Fedor Tyutin (Russia); Jan Hejda (Czech); Milan Jurcina (Slovakia)

Nashville (6) — Shea Weber (Canada); Martin Erat (Czechs); Ryan Suter (USA); Patric Hornqvist (Sweden); Marcel Goc, & Alex Sulzer (Germany)

Pittsburgh (5) — Crosby & Fleury; Malkin & Gonchar (Russia); Brooks Orpik (USA)

Washington (5) — Ovechkin, Semin & Varlamov on Russia; Nicklas Backstrom (center, Sweden); Tomas Fleischmann (Czech)

NY Rangers (5) — King Henrik Lundqvist (goalie Sweden); Marian Gaborick (Slovakia); Chris Drury & Ryan Callahan (USA, plus asst. coach John Tortorella); Olli Jokinen (Finland)

Minnesota (5) — Martin Havlet & Marek Zidlicky (Czechs); Niklas Backstrom (goalie Finland), Mikko Koivu & Antti Miettinen (Finland)

Atlanta (5) — Maxim Afinogenov (Russia); Johnny Oduya & Tobias Enstrom (Sweden); Pavel Kubina & Ondrej Pavelec (Czechs);  plus Don Waddell, asst. GM of USA

Los Angeles (5) — Quick Draw McGraw, Butch Cassidy & the Sundance Kid — aka Jonathan Quick, Jack Johnson & Dust’m Brown, for the Hollywood Westerns; Drew Doughty (the 20 yr old d-man for Canada);  Michal Handzus (Slovakia)

Montreal (5) — Andrei Markov (Russia);  Jaroslav Halak (goalie Slovakia);  Tomas Plekanec (Czech);  Sergei Kostitsyn (Belarus);  Yannick Weber (Swiss)

Ottawa (5) — Daniel Alfredsson (Sweden); Anton Volchenkov (Russia); Milan Michalek & Filip Kuba (Czech); Jarkko Ruutu (Finland)

Buffalo (5) — Ryan Miller (goalie USA); Henrik Tallinder (Sweden); Toni Lydman (Finland); Jochen Hecht (Germany); Andrej Sekera (Slovakia); plus Lindy Ruff, asst. coach for Canada

New Jersey (5) — Zach Parise & Captain Langenbrunner for USA; Marty Brodeur (goalie Canada, plus Jacques Lemaire as asst. coach);  Ilya Kovalchuk (Russia); Patrik Elias (Czechs)

Tampa Bay (4) — Ryan “Bugsy” Malone (USA); Antero Niittymaki (goalie Finland, MVP ‘06 Olympics); Andrej Meszaros (Slovakia); Mattias Ohlund (Sweden)

Carolina (4) — Eric Staal (Canada); Tim Gleason (USA); Joni Pitkanen & Tuomo Ruutu (Finland)

Dallas (4) — Brenden Morrow; Loui Eriksson (Sweden); Jere Lehtinen (Finland); Karlis Skrastins (Latvia)

Philadelphia (4) — Mike Richards & Chris Pronger for Canada; Kimmo Timonen (Finland); Oskars Bartulis (Latvia)

Calgary  (3) — Iginla (Canada); Kipper & Niklas Hagman for Finland

St. Louis  (3) — David Backes & Erik Johnson on USA; Roman Polak (Czech); plus Doug Armstrong, asst. GM of Canada

Phoenix Coyotes  (3) — Ilya Bryzgalov (goalie Russia); Michalek (Czech); Sami Lepisto (Finland)

Colorado  (3) — Paul Statsny (USA); Peter Budaj (goalie Slovakia); Rusian Salei (Belarus)

Toronto (3) — Phil Kessel (USA — not to mention them being “America’s team” with GM Burke, and Coach Wilson); Tomas Kaberle (Czechs); the Monster (goalie Sweden)

Florida (2) — Tomas Vokoun (goalie Czechs); Dennis Seidenberg (Germany)

Edmonton (2) — Denis Grebeshkov (Russia); Lubomir Visnovsky (Slovakia); plus Kevin Lowe, asst. GM of Canada

NY Islanders (1) — Mark Streit (Swiss); plus Scott Gordon, asst. coach of USA

Current (2009) IIHF Ranking of the Top 12 Nations

[by:  ranking — nation — intl points won — position change since 2008]
1 — Russia — 3200 — +1
2 — Canada — 3160 — -1
3 — Sweden — 3095 — 0
4 — Finland — 3050 — 0 . . . (Note: 150 total points separate the Top 4 — then a 135 point drop to the next level) 

5 — USA — 2915 — +1
6 — Czech Republic — 2915 — -1
7 — Switzerland — 2725 — 0
8 — Belarus — 2660 — +1
9 — Slovakia — 2635 — -1
10 — Latvia — 2610 — +1
11 — Norway — 2545 — +1
12 — Germany — 2460 — -2

The Different Leagues in these Olympics 

Only about half the players in these Olympics come from the NHL.
Here’s a breakdown of the number of Olympians from each league:

142 NHL — — (equals 16% of the 860 active players in the league get to go play, and 84% get an amazing 2-week holiday in the middle of the season!  No wonder the NHLPA loves it!)
60 KHL
21 GERMAN
17 SWISS
16 SWEDISH
6 NORWAY
5 AHL
5 BELARUS
2 CZECH
1 FINISH
1 SLOVAK
1 WHL
1 FREE AGENT

by Brian at
BrianHassett.com
karmacoupon@gmail.com

We’re living through a monumental collapse in the history of The Toronto Maple Leafs — a period that will be written about for the rest of hockey time.

Every facet of this franchise is now utterly pucked.   Teams can overcome an element or two not being in synch — but not The Full Ginsberg.

Here’s why it’s so bad — and is gonna get worse:

Ownership:  A corporation. Who knows nothing about hockey, as much as some of them may think they do.  What they know and care about are accounting statements, and that’s it.  If they’re charging Le Cirque prices for McDonalds food, and can raise their prices every year and still have a waiting-list every night, that is One performing asset that is not to be mucked with.

GM:  A large person is humble and deflects praise to others.  A small person takes credit for things they didn’t do.   That Burke, as a 2nd yr GM takes credit for that Anaheim Cup … don’t get me started.   And certainly don’t get any Anaheim fan started!  Now, here he is building a thug-based team in “the New NHL,” while simultaneously dealing away their drafting future, and maxing out their salary cap so UFA’s aren’t even an option.
Comic Image:  Blustering Burke in the oak paneled boardroom scaring the pants off the manicured suits — until they give him a 5-year, no-supervision contract.

Coach:  Prof. Wilson is a textbook mismatch for a “pugnacious” GM like Burke.  Wilson may be a passable hockey tactician, but quite obviously not a “motivator” — not a player seems to be responding — and isn’t exactly coaching this low-skilled squad to play disciplined, capitalize on other teams’ mistakes, and score with the special teams.  But these poor (okay, not “poor” – “unfortunate”) Leaf players are getting two opposing messages.  Their structure is built in conflict with itself.  Ironically, the recently unearthed Quinnasaurous Pat may be the only current coach appropriate for this Burke team.

Forwards:  Dump & don’t-chase.  There’s not a legitimate Top-6 sniper in the squadron.  They’re not a threat to any defense or starting goalie in the league.  Picture  – rocks dinging off tanks.

Goofy’s Goons:  1/6th of every game’s forward roster are staged fighters.  The Leafs are the last-place team, and they voluntarily spot every opponent 2 forwards per game.

Defense:  As bad as it gets — the most goals against in the league — undisciplined, slow, constantly out of position, neither strong defensively nor offensively, confused, penalty-prone as well as the league’s worst penalty-killers — and with no Leader to quarterback or follow.

Goaltending:   The one position that can, in some instances, overcome other factors not in place — and it’s the weakest part of the team.  There’s Porous Toskala (who’s currently the 50th worst save % goalie out of 53 to play so far this season);  and a giant injury-prone monster who drops to the ice before every shot is taken, and who’s already been out twice with heart and groin problems and he’s only been on the job a week.

Overall:  Beyond all the systemic and wide-arcing problems, they have the weakest current starting roster in the NHL, and one of the shallowest farm team talent pools — ranked 22nd, last I checked. And the team having no team Captain is emblematic of them having no leadership whatsoever in the dressing room. 

Add to that:   Every team has learned firsthand how hard points are to come by in this tight parity era, and unlike seasons past, players are much less likely to take lightly the “easy” games against last-place teams.  A couple points has been the difference between playoff bonuses or not for nearly every player in the league.  

Why the problem grows:  The only advantage to being terrible is getting top draft picks — except of course Burke’s traded away the Leafs’ for the next two years. So far.  And because the franchise has been doing that for so many years, they have very little in the stable to draw on — and no major player coming in until 3 years from now (at the earliest). 

Rebuilding:  Some people have bought the line that the Leafs are “rebuilding” — when, sadly, they’ve been looted, and are being demolished:   Almost all their “treasure” is gone, and they’ve sold off their futures, again.

The Long-Term:  This modus operendi will continue through (and by consequences, beyond) Burke’s 5-year contract — under a man leading the last war’s weapons into tomorrow’s NHL.
And because his boss, the ownership, doesn’t care if the team wins or loses — as long as they appear that they’re trying, and they sell more hotdogs than they did last year — then this Division of their holdings meets its target, and “Let’s move on to next on the agenda …”

Ramifications:  Since the Leafs will finish last or close to it the next two years, every draft pick they could have gotten (and especially the 3 players Boston actually selects) will be held against this Burke era for the next 20 years of those players’ careers.  Or picture in 2 years when whomever the Bruins draft 1st overall is having a better season than Phil Kessel.  Plus, of course, during this time the Leafs won’t be doing any “rebuilding” at all.

This is no small collapse.   It’s historically huge.  And the drafted bridges to a future escape are already burned.

It’s like watching Katrina form over the Gulf.  It’s so big, so ominous, and so obvious that utter devastation is coming when this hits home.

Brian, October 10th, 2009.

I just saw the first two Ottawa vs. Pittsburgh games from Stockholm — and they were outstanding broadcasts.  THIS is what hockey broadcasting is supposed to be. 

Jim Hughson on play-by-play is IT — maybe the best ever, currently close to Doc Emerick in his prime and Danny Gallivan and Foster and Bill Hewitt in theirs — and he may end up ranked higher than all of them by the time he’s done.  Frankly and honestly — I think he’s the best I’ve ever heard.  I’d have to re-listen to Doc and Danny again, but he’s got the the poetic linguistic master’s mind and the verbal skills of Doc Emerick, but so much better timbre;  Danny Gallivan may have been the only comparable hockey play-by-play man with his combo of timbre, poetry, and knowledge of the sport. 

Criag Simpson is his sidekick color guy — and there’s nothing wrong with him. He’s not offensive or stupid or long-winded or anything.  And he & Jim have worked together for a long time — so as long as Hughson likes him . . . it’s like, Garcia could pick any rhythm guitarist he wanted.    and as long as Jerry liked him, and he wasn’t offensive, then he was okay with me.  It’s like Ed McMahan to Johnny.  It’s all all about Johnny — and Jerry and Jim . . .  

whoever the heck they wanna play off of, it’s their call. 

and THEN — in both intermissions they didn’t have Don the Assclown!  Of course, he hasn’t has a passport in 30 years and he’s not about to go to pansy Europe now.  So, instead, CBC hosted this incredibly intelligent conversation about hockey, and the Make Believes never even came up once!  In 5 years of watching I’ve never seen a single HNiC broadcast that didn’t talk about the Leafs no matter what two teams were playing.  But this was completely Loaf-free TV — for two whole games!  “Yes, President-elect Obama, the world has changed!”   

Just totally SMART hockey guys discussing what’s happening in the game. Jaw-droppingly retard-free.  When Ron MacLean gets away from Assclown, he really knows the sport.  And of course Kelly Hrudy is really smart. I reckon Mike Millbury is sort of the Kramer to Hrudy & Ron’s Jerry & Larry David. 

Anyway, just some awesome good news for hockey fans everywhere. 

And we went from a woman to a kid writing the Hockey National Anthem. 

Brian O’Canada

In the 3 years since the lock-out and with “the new NHL” we’ve had a one-hit-wonder win the Cup who never even made the playoffs any other year since about the Clinton administration, followed by the Disney Dirty Ducks action movie – neither team, IMHO, will be or should be remembered in hockey history. 

Contrast that with the Detroit Red Wings, who, after this year’s performance by Montreal and their “fans”, has clearly become the undisputed Classiest Team in the NHL.  They haven’t missed the playoffs in nearly 20 years, finishing with over 100 points for the last eight years in a row, winning 6 President’s Trophies, 3 Stanley Cups, plus a half-dozen Norris’s, a hat trick of Selke’s and gawd knows what else, and have the winningest coach in NHL history, Scotty Bowman, up in the box guiding the troops, with Stevie Y riding shotgun.  This is the Gold Standard in hockey.  They’ve drafted well (say, Datsyuk 171^st overall, or Zetterberg 210^th!), are coached brilliantly, play a skilled game, and are fronted by a couple of the most artful forwards in the sport. 

And the Penguins are what a hockey team is all about – youth and veterans, skill and brawn, with underdogs and superstars.  Plus they also happen to have two of the best forwards in the game.  And they’ve got the best points-per-game player in history in their skybox, and just a year ago their coach led them to the 4^th greatest single-season improvement in points in NHL history.  Add to that:  the whole team was almost sold-off to another city (but saved by that player in the skybox), and they’ve been living on a shoestring budget for what seems like forever, and play in the oldest (but loveable) dump of a building in the NHL (“The Igloo”! – what could be better!). 

Pittsburgh has an edge in offense, Detroit has an edge in defense, and both have solid goaltending.  One ‘tender is 10-2;  the other 12-2.  Of all the active playoff goalies, they are 1 and 2 in wins, 1 and 2 in GAA, 1 and 2 in save percentage.  Detroit’s Osgood has only dropped two games after taking over from Hasek;  and Pittsburgh’s “Flower” hasn’t let in more than 2 goals in any but four of his last 32 games, going 27-4-1!  And he’s all of 23 years old! 

Both teams have never lost a game these playoffs when leading after 2 periods.

Both teams have knowledgeable fans in their barns that the hockey world can be proud of, and both teams have lifelong hockey people as team owners and a lineage of very astute GMs.  In fact, both teams have exactly the same composition for their starting line-ups:  both have more than half their team (11 starters) made up of draft picks who’ve been developed entirely within the organization;  and each team made five smart free agent pick-ups;  and each only needed to trade away something to get their remaining four players.  That’s some very smart hockey management right there. 

In fact, with both teams so insanely and equally talented, it’s probably going to come down to coaching and preparation and mindset.  And in this regard, Detroit probably has the edge.  Not to mention the experience of all their players who have son the last game of the year before. 

Both teams are a textbook blend of European and North American talent;  and one team is captained by a European, the other by a Canadian.  And this year has already made history with Crosby being the youngest team captain in NHL history to lead his team to the Finals, and if he wins will be the youngest captain in professional team sports in North America to lead his team to a championship.  Or, it’ll be the first European captain ever to hoist the Cup in the NHL. 

Both teams have a history of current and former smart GMs, and neither team is assembled for a one-year push, nor bought their way to where they are by snatching other teams’ stars.  And both have fantastic, facile, effective Field-General coaches who’ve adapted to their opponents, and made their team greater than the sum of its parts. 

Detroit has its Darren McCarty destitute & rehab comeback story, and the Penguins have local Pittsburgh boy Ryan “Bugsy” Malone as a leader of their offense.  It’s an English-Canadian goalie vs a French-Canadian goalie.  And in their brain-trust, both franchises have former Team Canada captains (Lemieux and Yzerman) who shared a Gold Medal victory together at the Olympics, and are now battling each other over the “silver”. 

And they’re both “attack” teams –  just think about the wild end-to-end breakaway action we’re gonna see!!   The “Oh my god” dekes, and the “howdy do THAT?!” saves.  Lindstrom’s defense feeding Zetterberg and Datsyuk, and Gonchar & the boys feeding Crosby and Malkin!  And how these four forwards are going to be the masters who lead our sport for years to come.  And what’n the hell is with Gary Roberts and Chris Chelios??!!  I mean, they were battling in NHL playoffs before Crosby & Malkin were even born!  Literally.  And one of them’s wearing Gordie Howe’s uniform! 

And speaking of Gordie, these Red Wings are breaking his and Terry Sawchuk’s playoff records!  That’s all.  And Crosby just broke the record of every pro athlete in North American team sports when he won the scoring title at age 19. 

And WHAT is with these team playoff records?!  One team is 12-2 and the other is 12-4!  Huh?  Did I hear that right?  Is this the Habs best year vs. the Islanders best year?  It sure looks like Dynasty vs. Dynasty to me. 

The only other teams in NHL history to go 12-2 or better in the playoffs  . . .

Montreal in ‘68   –  12-1  (won Cup in 3 rounds)  

Montreal in ‘76  –  12-1  (won Cup in 3 rounds)

Detroit in ‘95 – 11-1  — (but lost the Cup Final to new jersey 4-straight)

Edmonton in ‘83    11-1  –  (and lost the Cup Final to the islanders 4-straight) 

The Wings have been the best NHL team over the last decade, and the Pens will be for the next. 

THIS is what hockey is all about. 

It’s Original Six vs. Second Six. 

Forget the Sistine Chapel, this series-opening face-off is going to be God and Adam down off the ceiling and touching fingers at center ice. 

This is going to be one for the ages, the one we live for, the Final that will be talked about the rest of our lives. 

It’s Edmonton — Islanders ‘83.  (if the Pens lose) 

or it’s

Montreal — Philly ‘76    (if the Pens win) 

It’s a turning-point Cup. 

It’s like a good jam that builds to a crystalline moment of eye-bulging clarity. 

It took three years, three verses, three time’s the charm to get here, but we’ve got it.  I have no idea how it’ll go in the final, but 7 games with encores would be sweet. 

This year’s Final will be historic and insanely exciting even if it’s a sweep for one team, but here’s a bellwether:  If the first two games (in Detroit) are a split we’re in for an all-time classic. 

The only prediction I’ll make is that both teams are capable of winning at least two games from the other – which means it goes to 6 games minimum. 

Weird Facts:

On average, the Penguins are younger (by 5 years), they’re taller (by 2 inches), and they’re heavier (by 13 lbs). 

Crosby lives with Lemieux.

Malkin lives at Gonchar’s.

Staal lives at Mark Recchi’s. 

Scotty Bowman coached both teams to their last Stanley Cup! 

Gary Roberts and Chris Chelios played against each other in the Calgary-Montreal Stanley Cup Final in 1989, almost 20 seasons ago. 

Chelios has played in more NHL playoff games than any other player in history. 

Since the NHL switched to the current format after the lockout, each Division will have sent exactly one, and only one, team to the Stanley Cup Final: 

North-East  -  Ottawa

South-East  -  Carolina  

Atlantic  -  Pittsburgh

North-West  -  Edmonton

Pacific  -  Anaheim

Central  -  Detroit

And get this!  -  In the 3 years since the lockout and the rotation of teams playing only 2 divisions in the other Conference each season, in all 3 SCFs since the change, the two Final teams have NEVER met during that regular season.  What are the odds of all that?!  Answer:  The Hockey Gods are smiling.  

The last 9 Stanley Cups in a row have all gone to the team with the home ice advantage in the series. 

Also:  This is guaranteed to be one of the closest Stanley Cup Finals in history. 

Detroit & Pittsburgh’s 210 mile separation is the closest any two teams playing for the Stanley Cup have ever been from one another – except for the Islanders – Philly in 1980 (120 m), and Boston – Rangers in ‘72 (189 m).  (Det-Chi = 239; Det-Tor = 244). 

All games start at the same time wherever you are  -  8 PM in the East. 

The game-day pattern goes: 

Saturday, Monday, Wednesday,

Saturday, Monday, Wednesday,

Saturday (game 7)

easy.   

Enjoy the speed, skill, chess n drama!

Brian

karmacoupon@gmail.com 

http://www.brianhassett.com/ 

                                     The Prankster Meets The Penguin 

So, I went to the Ranger game last night at Madison Square Garden.  What a hoot!  Before the game, there was some rock band called Overtime or something playing out front on the plaza;  and there were these shooting gallery games like at the Hockey Hall of Fame where you shoot the puck at little holes around a lifesize photo of Lundqvist, and another one that measured how hard your shot was.  And there’s this giant bronze statue of some guy outside the Garden, maybe it’s Mr. Garden, i don’t know, but they had the old guy decked out in a giant Rangers jersey.  

I went in for the pre-game skate and a bunch of Ranger fans had made scorecard signs like diving judges hold up during the Olympics.  And there’s one guy walking around in complete diving gear with a snorkel and facemask and a “Crosby Diving Team” shirt.  And all behind the net that the Penguins were shooting into during warm-up was a line of people holding diving scorecards.  Of course, Crosby answered this by setting up a goal a minute into the game.  And the Rangers never really recovered.  It ended up 5-3, but it was even more lopsided than that.  

When it was over, I didn’t want to leave — as usual.  I said to my hockey brother Rob, “This is like after my last Dead show at (nearby) Giants Stadium — i didn’t want to leave the venue and we walked all around the upper hallway looking down at the emptying stands and the stage tear-down.  Just keep soaking it in.  I didn’t know at the time it would be the last show ever, but just in case it might be, I always soak in everything to the maximum.” 

So we do just that up in Blue Heaven, surveying all of MSG like a wide-angle photograph developing on the brain, burning the image onto the glossy paper of memory.    

My poor buddy’s a hardcore Ranger fan so he’s a little down seeing his team essentially eliminated, but he’s being very easy-going about it  – if only because he’s a little stunned in shock.   So, we finally leave and luckilly come out on the 8th Avenue side, and I guide our stroll around by the load-out door where there’s about 50 fans waiting to get autographs or just to cheer the players as they leave.  As soon as we get there, Mario Lemieux comes out in a car with his wife, and I’m thinking, “This is sort of interesting.”    

There’s just tons of bright-faced young hockey fans — like this one kid, it was his 15th birthday, and he’s there with his dad and wearing one of the old style teal Pittsburgh jerseys like they wore for The Winter Classic outdoor game this year.  These kids, these fans, all know what the players look like without their helmets on, and they’re shouting out their names as they see them walking out in their suits to get on the bus that’s parked in the runway.  Some different Penguins come walking down the ramp and go right past us.  A couple of them stop and sign autographs.  

And all of a sudden, there’s big Hal Gill!  So i go over to him — he was kinda lost — like he was walking past the bus along the sidewalk, and had to stop and turn around, and I’m, “Hey Hal!  Good to see ya!  And good luck, eh?!  Hey, I’m from Toronto!”  And this makes him break into a big smile, “Great!” And I’m, “I’m so glad you get to be with this team now.  It’s the only way a Leaf will ever win the Cup!” and he laughs, and says thanks, shakes hands and heads for the bus.  

Then a few people start yelling, “Hey Jarku!” as Ruuto walks up — another guy I wouldn’t know from Adam — Ind i suddenly remember I have all these hockey cards in my bag, and pull out my Ruutu card and run over just as he’s about to get away and the 15 year old kid gives me his Sharpie and Ruutu signs the card.   

Then a couple others come along in their fresh n snappy suits, and then — there’s one guy I actually recognize!  Jordan Staal!  It’s just cuz he’s always on TV, and is really tall and skinny and has that sorta blondish hair and he’s just walking right out past all the fans and out to the street.  I run up to him cuz he’s really one of my favorite players — hockey’s new royal family and all — and i start walking along beside him going, “No way!  Jordan!  Way to go man!” and I’m slapping him on the back of his brown leather jacket and he’s not wanting to break his stare from straight ahead, almost like a guard at Buckingham Palace who’s supposed to not turn his head.  Not to mention him thinking, “Who is this crazy Rangers fan?  And am I about to be attacked?”  But I’m just making such a big fuss over him he’s goin’ with it, and I look up at his face that’s about as far away as the top of the Empire State Building, and I can see he’s got this huge beam on and is laughing — and I’m just sorta running along beside him since he’s walking very fast and determined, and I’m about 5 jumbo beers into it and I just kept slappin’ him on the back and raving on about how great the team is and how I’m rooting for them and he’s just laughing away at my enthusiasm and stick-to-it-ness.  

So, he’s walking the same direction as Hal and Ruutu were, and I realize their bus is parked out on the street, and so I watch as he and the other guys climb up the stairs and disappear into their dark cave.  It wasn’t a regular big charter tour type bus, but a mini-bus, like you see shuffling people around at airports.  

All of a sudden, I dunno, but . . . suddenly there was no security type person standing at their bus door, and I thought, “Ah-ha.”  

So I walk out nonchalantly into the road as though I’m just going to cross the street, and I see the bus door is open!  And I go, “No way!”  

So, I turn, and just Boom – I run up the stairs and onto their bus!  

There was a driver in the driver’s seat, and he didn’t say anything.  It was really dark in there so it was hard to see exactly, but nearly every seat was taken — like they were just about ready to take off.  So I stand up at the front like a tour guide holding onto the silver pole, and I just start in on this riff, super excited, quite skiddlie, but i just started goin’, “Hey you guys!  I just wanted to tell ya you’re just great!  And thank you for what you’re doing for hockey all over the world.  This is just the best thing.  The way you’re doing it, inspiring the kids, and hockey fans all over, it’s just fantastic and i just wanted to make sure you guys knew it and how much it’s appreciated, and you guys are doing the right thing and doing it the right way!”      

It’s really dark, and I don’t know most of the player’s faces, but I can see Jordan Staal, he’s on the aisle about 2 rows from the back, and maybe he had an overhead light on or something, but I could see his tall head and he’s just got this huge teeth-beaming smile on — a fellow twinkling prankster for sure.  As a performer, you often pick out one person in the audience and deliver the show to them.  Zone in — and if you’re totally connected to that person, have them hanging on your every word, you don’t lose your train, and everybody else can ride along.  So I’m sorta delivering this whole spontaneous monolog to Staal.  

And it was so weird, cuz you sorta picture a hockey team’s bus as i dunno, rowdy, partying, everybody talking at once — sort of a Slap Shot scene.  But everybody was in very proper suits sitting quiet and back-straight in their seats like a troop of uniformed soldiers or something.  But the General was on the bus!   

And he was right in front of me!  The very first seat beside the stairs is Coach Therrien, and he’s laughing away, I couldn’t believe it!  But I knew I had the room if he was laughing.  :-)  But I didn’t wanna look too closely in case he signaled for me to leave.  And it’s so great that in this 9/11 world they weren’t too freaked-out by this strange guy jumping into their midst.  Neither the coach nor the players nor any staff ever made a move to stop me, and here I was given this spontaneous, unsolicited pep-talk to the entire frickin’ Penguins team!  

I’m looking right into the faces of the guys in the first couple of rows but I couldn’t positively identify any of them — those damn helmet disguises they wear!  I think the rookie type guys have to sit in the front — none of the first few rows were Laraque or Talbot or Malkin or Malone or any of those super recognizable faces.  

I had the presence of mind to realize that they weren’t kicking me off, and that I actually had the entire team’s rapt attention, and the coach is sorta rocking back and forth in his seat he’s laughing so much.  It was like open mike night, and the host had just nodded that you can do another song!  :-)  So I did.  

I went into something like, “I’m from Canada,” (I wanted them to know I’m an authentic old-school purist hockey person, not just some demented drunk New Yorker)  So I told them, “I just drove all the way down here to see you play tonight, and I just want you to know that everybody up there is rootin’ for you guys.  And what you’re doing is just great!  And just keep goin’!  The whole hockey world is rooting for you guys.  Believe me.”  And I gave ‘em a nod & a stare with a good long pause.  

I remember thinking that I didn’t wanna say anything to jinx it — like talk about The Cup or anything beyond this series.  So I just said again, “What you’re doing is just great!  Keep doin’ what you’re doin’!”   I couldn’t believe I was there — and I was sort of running out of material and didn’t want to overstay my bizarre welcome, so I just gave them a happy final wave in farewell and scampered down the stairs as fast as I climbed them.  The whole time I was just beaming with joy, and I’m sure that’s what allowed me to be there unchallenged.  

So, . . . that was the night I ran onto the Penguins’ bus in the middle of the playoffs and gave them a pep talk.  

you can also hear my crazy live morning-after riff (the April 30th episode) at

 http://thatradio.podhoster.com/index.php?sid=1399

Brian

BrianHassett.com

karmacoupon@gmail.com  

So she tells me she’s got an extra for the home finale vs the Islanders and it’s fan appreciation night. I do my usual post work pre game ritual: pound a few $2 beers at Spanky’s, have some wings, and by 6:40 I’m making my run down 7th Ave. and I’m feeling good as i enter MSG. Another ritual: I pick up a couple of Labatt’s for me and T. She’s such a hardcore hockey fan she prefers the Canadian brew so i like to have one waiting for her when she gets in. I say hi to the crew as i settle into my seat, it’s a great bunch of folks to watch a game with. Guys who’ve been Ranger fans since before i was born, one guy who does sports radio on WFAN, . . . just a fun, entertaining bunch. T gets in and we watch the Rangers finish the first period down 1-0 to the Islanders. After my Labatt’s i decide i should slow down or this’ll be a messy night, so i take a bathroom break and when i come back, T tells me a Garden rep came thru and told her she was picked for the Fan Appreciation jersey giveaway at the end of the game!

We head down during the third, teams tied at 2, and T goes off with the other FA winners one way, I go off with the other FA fans with a cute garden rep who takes us thru the belly of MSG. We take a left past the Zamboni, walk several yards, and stop in front of the runway leading to the ice. A bunch of fans are getting anxious: we can’t really see and have to rely on the crowd reaction to know what’s going on. At the time we were trying to win home ice over the Devils before having to face them in New Jersey in the last game of the season. I figure regardless of the outcome of the game, the real experience is us getting out there by the ice!

Rangers announcer Al Trautwig walks past us and down the runway. The third period ends but we’re still tied at 2. Nothing doing in overtime, then the we lose in the shootout. With the game over, we’re led down the runway towards the ice, we take a right and go right into the visitor’s bench! Al is interviewing Brendan Shanahan on the ice about 8 feet from us. A trainer squirms thru us picking up towels, rolls of tape, and water bottles as we get our cameras ready. T and the rest of the fan appreciation winners are coming out onto the ice.

In a weird almost surreal moment I look around at the view from the bench: at the white ice in front of me, the size of the playing surface, the distance to the penalty boxes, the view of the close seats all around, the huge hanging scoreboard overhead, the banners hanging up in the distant ceiling …. I realize I’ve only ever seen this view on TV or in photos — but now I’m here!

I’m snapped back to reality when i look out on the ice and see the FA winners are all holding up cards with players’ numbers and names written on them. As i watch players take off and sign their jerseys and find the lucky fan holding up their names, I remember me and T were talking about how it’s such a great team there’s no one who’s jersey you really wouldn’t want….then i see Christian Backman find her and hand her his jersey, i think, “Oh yeah, we forgot about him.”

Regardless, a truly amazing Garden experience, and as a sweet encore we’ve both been immortalized in the Rangers.com photo gallery…T in a Fedor Tyutin shot and I’m standing in the bench of a Jagr jersey-hand-off shot. So, a major shout to my buddy T and hockey brother B! And a great 2008 season!!

= = = = = = =

by Rob Salmon